VikkiZiegler.com

My Appearance on Money For Breakfast

Vikki — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 19:39:13 +0000

A look at the economies impact on the divorce rate.

Domestic Violence: An Unnecessary Epidemic

Vikki — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 12:00:12 +0000

People often think that they cannot leave a violent relationship for many reasons, not the least of which is retribution. However, the truth is that if you stay in a violent relationship you may never get out. To have the courage to stop the violence and create an exit strategy appears to be the only way out. Your safety depends on it. Moreover, children should not be exposed to such poor behaviors. As experts have said children can often repeat the violent cycle in their own relationships. So how do you “attack” so to speak the problem of leaving a tormentor? Consider these help tips and don’t delay – your life is at stake! Be a role model to others in your predicament and leave. There is no cost to freedom except to leave in peace and free of abuse.

1.     Call 911 to report an incident of domestic violence. Remember, most of the time your conversation is being recorded so it can be used as evidence in a formal proceeding if necessary.
2.     Go to the Court House or the police station and file a police report and/or a restraining order. Tell the police about all prior and current acts of abuse. Be detailed. Show evidence (if it exists) of abuse with pictures.
3.     Get help. Talk to family, close friends, co-workers or your rabbi or priest gain support from them. Leaving will be very difficult and your team of supporters must know about the violence to assist in your exit plan.
4.     Keep you cellular phone charged and with you at all times.
5.     Research shelters, advocacy groups and online services to help you better understand the cycle of violence to get you on the road to emotional and physical recovery.

With the help of friends and loved ones you can weather any storm and move on to a healthy and violence-free life.

Getting in Shape for the Holiday Season.

Vikki — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 12:00:23 +0000

With the hustle and bustle of the season, our workouts take a back seat to cocktail parties, holiday luncheons with friends, shopping, wrapping and stressing over the perfect gift to give. But now is more important than ever to make your exercise time a priority. It’s estimated that Americans gain an average of 10 pounds between Halloween and New Years day and suicide is also at an annual high during the holidays.

There is no better way to keep off the holiday pounds, ease the stress of the season and jump start your New Years Resolutions than to engage in regular and vigorous exercise. Morning exercisers have the highest compliance rates so get up a little earlier and get moving. Grab a video or a buddy or join in a class that you pre-pay for. Committing with your wallet increases your chances of getting out of bed and showing up.

Strive to engage in cardiovascular conditioning (such as walking, running, cycling, swimming, group fitness) most days of the week for 20 - 60 minutes and strength training on 3 alternating days each week. Treat yourself to daily stretching which can be done after a workout or a hot shower or bath.

A weekly yoga or Pilates class will do your body, mind and spirit wonders as well. Join your guy friends for a game of basketball or the ladies can meet for a kick boxing class rather than lunch. Find ways to get your body moving. Every little bit ads up.

Even short workouts that are intense are better than nothing. 1 weekly total body strength training session will give you 70% of the benefits of 3 a week so dust off your running shoes, reactivate that gym membership and get moving now before the crowds emerge in January.

Kelli Calabrese is the 2004 Personal Trainer of the Year. She is a lifestyle transformation expert and 22 year fitness industry leader. For more information, go to www.KelliCalabrese.com

So you think you need a Prenup?

Vikki — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 12:00:48 +0000

Every person entering into a marital union should look into whether or not a Prenuptial Agreement is necessary. It’s ok to want to protect assets you worked so very hard for before you marry your beloved. Think about it- if the number one cause for divorce is financial stress wouldn’t you want to try to resolve any and all open financial issues before you actually consummate your union? The more you work before you tie the knot the better chance you have of staying married and beating the statistics. Get to an attorney who specializes in Family Law to answer your questions about whether a Prenuptial Agreement makes sense in your particular case. To get informed quickly, below are my questions to ask an attorney and/or research online:

1. Do we both need to be represented by an attorney?
2. Is it worth the paper it’s written on?
3. When must the agreement be drafted?
4. Must I reveal all of my finances?
5. Are they just for the rich?
6. What are the costs involved?
7. What is a fair and reasonable deal in my case?
8. Can I protect my business? Future earnings?
9. Can we add a provision about custody and child support for the future?
10. Must we exchange financial documents such as tax returns, proof of assets and liabilities to one another?

You don’t want to wind up like Paul McCartney or Madonna fighting to protect their empires. If they only had a Prenuptial Agreement life may have been a great deal easier…

Do you stay in an unhappy marriage for the children?

Vikki — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 12:00:17 +0000

No, no and no. In my opinion, children never benefit from witnessing fighting, arguing and an unhealthy marital relationship. Often times children lack the experiences of what normal families are supposed to look like and how healthy relationships are to appear. Without that visualization, children often follow their parents’ footsteps by entering into bad relationships and marriages.

Children are smarter than you think and generally sense that there is marital discord even if a spouse tries to hide it. Children deserve to see parents happy. They deserve to see sharing, caring, loving, trusting and parents who can communicate. If they don’t see that type of foundation, rest assured their partnerships will not have the solid foundation necessary to last a lifetime (or a decade for that matter.) Look at yourself in the mirror and ask “Am I happy in my marriage?” If the answer is “No” and you are not committed to working on the issues- leave.

Instead of wasting your time or being a poor example for your children, find a mate that you can express love and admiration for, for the benefit of yourself and your children. They will thank you down the road- perhaps not consciously… Trust me. I am living proof.

Nancy Cooper Murder and Child Custody Hearing

Vikki — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 12:07:28 +0000

A look at the Nancy Cooper case and the child custody hearing around it.

The Bobby Cutts Jr Case

Vikki — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 12:06:21 +0000

Here is my appearance on Fox News discussing the Bobby Cutts Jr case.

Eliminate Divorce Stress Through Fitness

Vikki — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 12:00:08 +0000

Divorce will take you on an emotional roller coaster ranging from rage to grief to low self esteem and much more. Eventually those emotions manifest themselves physically in the form of headaches, depression, ulcers and even obesity from emotionally charged eating. Regardless of your feelings and experience with divorce, what matters most is that you have a choice right now to be physically strong. The one thing that you can do is take charge of your well being. With exercise as an important and purposeful part of your daily and weekly routine you will begin to positively influence not only your appearance, but your mental clarity, your nutrition, stress reduction, sleep, self confidence, immunity, risk of disease, personal care, career and even future relationships.

When you are physically fit you are better able to handle what ever stressors life may bring your way. When you feel good and have a positive outlet for stress you can both think and act with greater personal power and a new found freedom. Your fitness is something only you can achieve and no one can take away as long as you are waking up and doing something positive for yourself daily. At a time when your world may seem spiraling out of control, now is the perfect time to focus on being in the best shape of your life and doing something productive for yourself.

Kelli Calabrese is the 2004 Personal Trainer of the Year. She is a lifestyle transformation expert and 22 year fitness industry leader. For more information, go to www.KelliCalabrese.com

Helping Others to Help Yourself

Vikki — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 12:54:17 +0000

Admittedly, the focus on self can get a little self-absorbed after awhile. Many of us, once we’ve been day spa’d and girls-night-outed to death, like to eventually turn our attentions elsewhere. In the case of becoming a recent divorcee, you are in a unique position to help others new to your experience. Here’s how:

· Start a focus group: If you found it difficult to get help or support before or during your divorce in your area, don’t let this stay the case after your divorce. Start a divorce focus or support group at your local church or community center and invite others to learn from your experience or, possibly, share theirs.

· Write a blog: If you are comfortable helping others through the written word, share your experiences, expertise and passion online with a blog designed to educate and inform. If you don’t choose to share your personal experiences online, you can still help others by writing articles or letters from the editor - and posting articles by others - about divorce in general.

· Volunteer your time: Maybe you’re not quite ready to take on a leadership role at this point, or would simply prefer to lend a hand to an organization or charity that already exists. There are ample ways for you to volunteer your time at worthy organizations of note, be they divorce seminars, law offices that provide their services pro bono or even domestic abuse shelters who need not just donations of food, money and clothing but also caring people with time to share.

· Donate to worthy organizations: Perhaps right now all you have the energy for is donating materials or money; this is great! Find an organization that really speaks to your passion and do what you can, when you can. You may find that mere physical donations aren’t enough over time, and wind up volunteering there or even spreading the word about the organization through your church and or office so that they get more donations as a result. Remember, helping others is the best way to help yourself!

The Document Hunt- Start now

Vikki — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 11:52:08 +0000

If you are contemplating filing for divorce, or if you are already involved in a proceeding, it is gravely important for your attorney, your accountant and your financial advisor to have a complete financial picture. This includes both your incomes, assets, life insurance, medical insurance, mortgage information, college costs and funds, retirement investments and balances, as well all types of debt information for both parties to the action. The earlier this information is gathered, the better. By being prepared BEFORE the case begins to prepare your team of experts to properly assess your case and guide you accordingly. You can expedite the process by giving your experts the necessary tools to give you the best advice for your particular case. You can help your experts and counsel discover income and or assets that your spouse may be secreting or discover assets that you never knew existed in your discovery process. If you become proactive you will inevitably save time and money as information gathering becomes harder and more costly at times after the parties split and/or the tensions of the litigation get ignited. Make a file of all of your documents and maintain them in a safe location for easy access.